Live Like You Were ...

It was a typical night for the Ng family. The six children and their parents chewed on their food quietly. However, Diana wanted so much to share about her exciting day at school when she got chosen as the neatest girl in the class. She started to whisper a few words to her only sister about her exciting day when her father cleared his throat. She glanced at her father to see him glare balefully at her and quickly returned her full focus upon her food. The neat story can wait till later.

Baam! Baam!

The sudden sound invaded the silence at the dinner table. Mr. Ng got up to answer the door, his wife following him close behind. The six children relaxed visibly now that their father has gone from the table and started to chatter quietly amongst themselves.

The open door revealed a distraught looking man. "My wife is terribly ill. She needs to see the doctor. I ..."

Mr. Ng held up a hand and said briskly, "Don't worry, Tan. I'll drive her to the hospital. Give me a minute."

As he changed quickly into a shirt and grabbed his car keys, he exchanged a meaningful look with his patient and gentle wife. He never got tired of seeing her nod and smile which always seemed to say, "Go ahead, dear. I'll look after the home front while you are out helping others."

Assured of her support, he disappeared into the night with his neighbour Tan.

By now, Dennis, the cheekiest of the lot started to make faces at Diana and stole food from Jack's bowl when he wasn't looking. In a matter of moments, the previously quiet house was transformed into a mad circus. Mrs. Ng shook her head and smiled at the kids. Children will be children. They had behaved very well for the past few hours when their father was around. They deserved a break.

---

That was a page from a typical scene of my mom's family. I never knew Grandpa. Grandpa Ng passed away when he was just 49 years old. My mom was just 13. But the memories that she had of him are still very vivid in her mind. Growing up, all I heard was how strict my grandpa was. I remembered looking at his kindly face on a framed photograph and thinking what a spoilsport he actually was in real life. I couldn't imagine being silent during meal times when good company was around.

It was only recently when mom started sharing more and more of the man he was. Sure, he was strict when it comes to raising his children but then again, he had to balance Grandma's gentle nature and they had not one, but SIX very boisterous children.

I was shocked when mom revealed that she inherited his talkative, cheerful and exuberant nature. Wah, he wasn't the old grouch that I thought he was. And hang on a minute... this means that I am got that part of him, too. It made me even more curious to know what he was like.

"Well, he was a very generous man. An enterprising entrepreneur, too. He was the only one in town with a car and will gladly ferry anyone who needs transport. He also founded and helped build our village's first primary school," mom said proudly.

I was starting to feel proud of the man myself. I also knew that he and grandma adopted a kid in addition to the six they already had. Now, I had a rough idea of how he lived. But I also wanted to know how he died.

According to mom, Grandpa Ng experienced severe stomach pains for quite a while. At first, the GP thought it was just a simple stomach ache and gave him some painkillers. But when it persisted, he was referred to a specialist and was diagnosed to have an advanced stage of stomach cancer. Back then, in the 50's, there were not many treatment options when it came to this fatal disease. The diagnosis was like a death sentence. At the rather untimely age of 48, the news came as a big blow to the family.

He took the news in his typical pragmatic manner. Handed the reigns of his business to his 20-something year old eldest son. Took Grandma and mom (his youngest and favourite daughter) out for relaxing holidays in the highlands. And basically, continued living life to the fullest. One year later, he passed on.

He even left instructions on how the family should mourn for him.

"When I die, please do not give me the typical 5-day mourning period. 3 days will do. It's not good for the business to shut down for so long," he said practically.

It was so like him to think of the living rather focus on the grand funeral that an honourable and distinguished town citizen like him rightfully deserved.

I wished I had the opportunity to meet him, look upon his kindly and twinkling eyes and tell him that I am so proud of him. How he is still very much a part of me even though we never met. My family is reaping a bountiful of blessings because of the good work and generosity he had sown in his full though short life.

Grandpa, I'm inspired by the way you lived... and died. Thank you, for everything.