You Had Me at ...

My friend PJ has a pet peeve. Well, make that a few. Almost enough to write the sequel to Eat, Shoots and Leaves. Everytime I meet this bubbly and well-travelled girl, I learn something new from her.

She was telling me about this guy who bowled her over - not because of his looks or charms (and he does have 'em aplenty!) - but simply because he knew the proper usage of as per. Like the non-existent word 'Irregardless', as per has been used and abused by government officials, lawyers and crooks aplenty.

PJ has scoured the whole of Malaysia and found only a measly handful of people who knew when not to use it. A case in point, which of these two sentences are correct?

1. As per your request, I enclose the check.


2. I will conduct this course as per.

If you chose the first sentence, don't worry - I did, too. The first as per was redundant - it should have been 'As requested...".

So anyway, back to PJ and the guy - she could remember the exact moment she was intrigued by him. I think we all do remember that one defining moment where we fall hook, line and sinker for someone. Aaaah....

They were chatting online and he had to go and conduct a lecture and he used that second sentence up there.

"I will continue as per," said the charming bloke.

PJ's jaw dropped to the ground (and knowing her, she prolly did her spastic clapping thing that she does) and she knew she had met someone she can match wits with. Or someone very close to it anyway.

She wanted to type, "You had me at as per..." but could never find the right time to do so.

Well, dear PJ when the time is right, you know what to do. Show him this blog post. That may make his jaw drop in turn.

And as for my favourite guy, he needn't be one with perfect grammar. I'll just do a Renee Zellweger and go, "You had me at alo. Errr, actually hor, no need to say harlo, you had me oledi lar. Abo den?"