Breakup Recap

I'm trying to recap the things that I wished family and friends would say or do to bring some comfort to me whilst I was nursing a broken heart. Heh, in case you are wondering why that's been the theme lately, it's because I know of friends who are going through that. Enough said. On with the program.

Things not to say or do:

• Shoot the wounded with "Why you so stupid to choose him?"


• More bullets for the wounded with "It must be your fault for not listening to my advise. I told you that he's not good for you!"


• Make a mockery and a joke out the whole relationship - Haiyo, this one has to hurt the most. The breakup was not a joke. And the relationship meant something, ok? Can't I have the liberty and space to mourn for the love I lost?


• Telling them to snap out of it already. Please lar, don't deprive the broken hearted from the healing that comes through mourning a love that has 'died'. They are not robots that can immediately swith their emotions on and off at will.

Recommended stuff:

• Bring the broken heart (BH) to karaoke. Song of the day - "I Hate Myself For Loving You". Satisfaction guaranteed


• Listen to them, affirm them and love them


• Go for a class to learn something new and meet new friends together - The longer they are left on their own devices, they would be tempted to slink back into depression


• Let them cry - Tears are healing and a good way of getting all the hurt out of their chest


• Pray with and for them

During those dark bleak months (and years), I dared not confide to those closest to me all the time. Firstly, they would be worried that I'm still not over him after such a long time. Secondly, talking about him as if he was still a part of my life would make it harder for me to fully let go. So I took solace in writing angsty, weepy and soppy poems and journals. Praying to God day after day to wipe out every trace of love for my ex, so that I can go on again.

And liberty came finally. Took a long while (years!) to get there, but get there I did. And deep down inside their hearts, the broken hearted knows that they will eventually get there, too. If you have such personal experiences to share, by all means share it with them. They will regain the hope that this moment, too, shall pass. And better times are ahead.