Wednesday, June 22. 2005

How To Say Whatever You Want To Someone Without Getting Into Trouble

Got this brilliant idea when hanging out at Longkang (some mamak in PJ) with the Punctuations gang just now.

1. Be in the company of your intended victim. Best to position yourself opposite victim.
2. Put your handphone on your ear and pretend to call someone.
3. Look at the victim in the eye and say whatever it is you've been wanting to say.
4. When victim becomes shocked or offended, continue to talk as if you are really talking on the phone and coolly look away.
5. Victim will sheepishly 'realise' that you are not actually talking to them.

Simple hor?

Here's a couple of suggested things to say:

  • If the victim is your boss - "Aiya, you are so stingy. How come never give me a raise wan?"

  • If the victim is your secret crush - "Eh, I think you are cute. Wanna have dinner with me tonite?" In this case, it's very, very important to see if they respond favourably or otherwise. If response is good, for goodness sakes, skip Step #4 & #5!!!

  • If the victim is a lazy course mate/colleague - "You know what happens to lazy people? I eat them for breakfast."

Anyway, you get the drift ;-)
Posted by coolcat in Humour at Permalink | Comments (22) | Trackbacks (0)
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*Aiyar, if victim is secret crush, just go and outrightly say, I think you're a great girl, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
Why hide hide all? :-P
#1 vagus (Homepage) on 2005-06-22 19:12 (Reply)
*Some people shy mah. That's why still called a secret crush :-P
#2 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-22 22:11 (Reply)
*When Coolcat targeted a victim, she shy-shy and give hint-hint-wan...of course, that victim has to be smart-wan-lah...if dumb-dumb-wan, she hint until pengsan oso the dumb-dumb still can't get the hint....*sigh*....
#3 rina (Homepage) on 2005-06-22 22:55 (Reply)
*That's why some people bring their secrets to their graves mar :-)
If someone is deemed to be important enough or worth the risk of making oneself look like a fool, then by all means, take the leap and just come right out and say so lar :-P
Heh heh. Easy to say only hor?
#4 vagus (Homepage) on 2005-06-22 23:36 (Reply)
*Sometimes ppl deliberately act blur leh. Can't blame them 'cos I do that too :-P So hor, I won't hint until pengsan wan.
#5 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-22 23:37 (Reply)
*wat abt hinting to ppl, "hey i m not interested! stay off..." have u been successfully done that? <hint-hint> :-D
#6 fruity on 2005-06-23 03:28 (Reply)
*ahem ahem I think so lar.
#7 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-23 05:34 (Reply)
*Hahaha... Just reading the comments you guys write brightens up my day.
#8 jotay (Homepage) on 2005-06-23 07:11 (Reply)
*Glad to be of service - even though it's my readers doing all the 'hard' work in commenting :-P Hope your day gets better, Jo.
#9 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-23 07:32 (Reply)
*err. not me, fruity. never had secret crushes before. hehe.
#10 vagus (Homepage) on 2005-06-23 20:14 (Reply)
*wah.. suddenly so many comments..

CC, I imagined so that you'd blog about this after the mamak session. ha ha ha.. saw that twinkle in your eye. grin

Now that the "secret" method is out, how do you know if that these "things" are being said to you?

Fruity gal.. mana lu? Still working overseas.. miss you lah.. better come back "Roti Jala" party soon. Probably July.

Vagus, was sure good to catch up with you yesterday, plus.. erhem.. CC was quite tickled about us "missing" each other online.
#11 pjamess (Homepage) on 2005-06-24 01:44 (Reply)
*Gosh, so I had the 'I've gotta blog about this look' that nite ah, Paul?

Heh, as for your question, the answer would be - women's intuition ;-)
#12 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-24 02:47 (Reply)
*Eh eh, Paul, SHHHHH!
You'll make people misunderstand.
Ok, I say again ar, straight as an arrow... :-P
#13 vagus (Homepage) on 2005-06-24 08:38 (Reply)
*eh paulos, dun simply miss me lar... haha.. i m coming back this wkend. will be glad to be back. miss dumc worship :-)
coolcat, good to hear of your success <thumbs up>
#14 fruity on 2005-06-24 10:11 (Reply)
*Come back quick-quick ah Fruity. Then we can play catch up ;-)
#15 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-24 10:39 (Reply)
*Play Catch Up? or Ketchup?

Yes, Vagus.. "straight as an arrow" yes sireee..

Fruity Gal, I'll be away this weekend with lotsa young ppl like myself.. ha ha ha.. my first ever Youth Camp in DUMC..

We're going Hardcore.. err.. i mean HeartCore. will tell you guys more when I am back from this HeartCore weekend.. :-)
#16 pjamess (Homepage) on 2005-06-24 14:35 (Reply)
*Corn alert Corn alert :-P

Hey, how come the 'straight as an arrow' bit has quotation marks on it? Got other connotations ah?

Take care and have fun at yr weekend away, Paul.
#17 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-24 22:04 (Reply)
*No other connotations CC.. .just reminiscence of one of our conversations.. ha ha ha..

About to leave the office to go pick up the youth, suddenly feel more energetic to serve young ppl . ha ha ha. but do I have what it takes? hmmm? we'll see this weekend!! Jawapan-nya.. Selepas hujung minggu ini
#18 pjamess (Homepage) on 2005-06-25 01:03 (Reply)
*coming back tmrw! hurray! we play catch up not catching ok?! but you veli busy this wkend - looks like i hav to play catching with u instead :-(
#19 fruity on 2005-06-25 05:02 (Reply)
*Ya, I hope we can catch up on Sun. Very doubtful though but definitely can meet up wan lar.
#20 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-25 05:31 (Reply)
*Is fruit MF? No wonder haven't seen you around for so long. Well, won't be able to catch you this weekend. Me also won't be around, heading for PD tomorrow for CYZ camp. See you round
#21 jotay (Homepage) on 2005-06-25 06:16 (Reply)
*Yep, the mysterious Fruity is MF. Have a safe journey, Jo. And have loads of FUN!
#22 coolcat (Homepage) on 2005-06-25 06:26 (Reply)

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