Questions NOT to Ask ...

A public service message from Dr. Love

updated with contributions from long-suffering discerning readers

To the marrieds and couples: To ensure a long, healthy and prosperous friendship with your single friends, please refrain from uttering comments similar to the ones below, in no particular order:

a. "Wah, you haven't been praying much about it, have you? No wonder still single lah."
b. "Hah? Still single ah? What's wrong with you?"
c. "Why so choosy wan? Look, if I'm the last guy on earth, would you have married me?" - This was from a married guy. I had no idea what point he was trying to make!
d. "You haven't been trying hard enough lah. You need to go out more and don't spend so much time at home."
e. "Still single? Quick, go find someone while you still have your hair!" ~ Vagus
f. "You need to stop thinking about your singleness so much and put God first in your life." ~ Ireneq
g. "Stop looking, as long as you're looking the person is not gonna come by." ~ Ireneq

There should be a handbook for things like this because, there are a lot of single people everywhere who are being needlessly hurt by insensitive questions and comments like the above. And guess what, married people were once single, too. You would think that they'd understand what it feels like to be treated as an object of curiosity and something to be gossiped about in the name of 'concern'.

Singleness is not a disease to be healed from nor to get over with. It is a valid and wholesome state of life. And it certainly is heaps better than being saddled with someone who makes your soul weep every single day of your life.

Ask them how they are doing and growing as a person. But please, don't imply that something is wrong with them just because they don't have a life partner. And please, don't give the horrible counsel for singles to settle for simply anyone, just for the sake of settling down.

Instead, you can direct all your energies and passion behind all those periodic and insistent comments on a better cause. Be a genuine friend to the single person and spend time with them. That will go a looong way in making their lives even more complete and pleasant. And you'll find that they won't try to avoid you whenever they see you coming by

Prayer of Serenity for the Single ~ courtesy of dt

Our father who in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth, as it is in heaven,
and in my 'life' too.

Give me someday,
Someone who daily spread/win* my bread,

Forgive me of my trespasses,
As i forgive her/him* when she/him gets on my nerves.

Lead me not into temptation,
But deliver me from those question-asking nosy parkers.

This message is courtesy of Dr. Love, advice guru extraordinaire.

~ Towards a more sensible you ~