Fatherly Advice

I was not the sort of person to ask my father for advice. It's mostly because our relationship was such that most of our conversations that lasts longer than a minute will end up in a huff and a puff. He's the sort who gets excited about any small thing and doesn't seem to understand that thinking through an option doesn't necessarily mean that I'll go ahead and do it.

So whenever I have to mull over a decision - be it major or minor - I would consult my family members and close friends first and let him know about it last. Of course that wouldn't stop him from giving me a piece or two of his mind. And there were times when I took heed of his advice and it turned out to be a good move. But generally, I won't run through the options that I have with him until the very last moment because I wouldn't want to go through another 'huff and puff' session.

But recently, he has calmed down quite a bit and ventured to give me good advice on managing personal finances in a very calm and concerned manner. He saw that I was servicing an insurance policy that I do not need, and he told me that it's ok to cancel it. "Better have more cash for reserves than to plunk it in on a redundant insurance policy," he said. I took his advice and it did lift a brick off my shoulder.

After I thanked him gratefully for that bit of advice, he asked me to feel free to ask him for advice about any matter that I think he can be of help. I thought about it seriously and concluded that matters of the heart aside, I can go to him for advice in financial and car matters and be assured that he will give me the best advice because he loves and knows me and wants the best for me. And most importantly, he has proven that he will try his best to deliver it in a loving manner.

So, last week when my boss suggested that I take advantage of the company car subsidy and purchase a brand new car, I consulted my dad about his thoughts on it. I love my 2-year old Wira but having a brand new Vios sounds very, very tempting. But having to start servicing a brand new loan again for the next 5 years for a new car was not something I look forward to. My dad immediately got to work, he talked to some car salesmen, got the brochures for Vios and we had several discussions on my options. Finally, he advised me to just stick with my present car and get a subsidy for that instead of a new Vios. It confirmed what I felt was the right thing to do.

I'm so glad for this very positive change in the dynamics of my relationship with dad. Mom had a big role to play in this. Whenever he is in a puff with me, she will remind him that no matter what, I'm still their daughter and he has no other choice but to continue loving me. And of course, God has been doing a great healing in my heart to enable me to love and honor my dad out of a loving heart, rather than a wounded and resentful one.

When things are made right in one's heart and spirit, the results can be seen physically. It's just a matter of time.