Coolcat's Jottings

Bezzie sent me this picture today and it brought to mind this issue about boyfriends and friends.

He ain't heavy, he's my bezzie's hubby

One of my requirements for my boyfriends (past and future) is this: "Love me, love my friends."

Or at the very least, try to grin and bear with them because like it or not, they are an extension of me. The more you know them, the more you would find out about me because birds of a feather generally flock together.

But what happens when my friends don't get along well with my boyfriend? Is it ok for me to expect them to accept him as part of me as well?

Bezzie and I have concluded that we'd probably never understand why we are attracted to guys that the other wouldn't touch with a ten-feet pole. When she started dating HS, sparks flew between HS and I - and it's not in a good way. HS has an uncanny knack of irritating me to no end. At one point, poor bezzie was wringing her hands in utter despair.

"I love the two of you but the both of you couldn't get along. Whom should I side with??"

I remember telling her that she should side him since they are going to be one in marriage and should not let anyone or anything come between them. And that as long as he treats her with tender loving care and is faithful to her, I would hold nothing against him. But could he please lay off his teasings and jibes towards me?

He did try (and failed!) and tried again and I like to think that we are in a good place now. The last time I conversed with him to arrange a surprise call for bezzie, he was so nice and obliging. A definite ally when it comes to treating our beloved Rina well.

While it can be hard to picture him tagging along her almost every time we meet up when she comes down here or if I go there for a visit, it's really part of the package. I love her, so I have to learn to get along with him the best way I know how. And likewise bezzie dearie, when it's my turn to have a partner whom you roll your eyes upon, I'd expect the same from you. Yes, we are big girls now but it means the world to us when our loved ones accept the person we choose as our boyfriend/life partner. A little support goes a long way.

Dear readers,

I think I have yet another addiction to confess.

I love love love eggs.

Can't live without them actually. Food just doesn't taste as nice without them.

Half-boiled, fried, omelette-d, poached - I love them in all forms and sizes. Today I had four. Four eggs whites and three egg yolks to be precise. I couldn't live with the guilt had I consumed the last of the yolk-hicans. Yolks are high in cholesterol mar.

So tomorrow, no more eggs for me. I rely on you readers, to keep me accountable.

Much love,
Coolcat the Egghead

A typical scenario in a formal Chinese family dinner would be everyone seated around the table. All eyes would be fixed at the food as it is laid upon the table. However, no one would dare to lift up their chopsticks before the sacred words are uttered by the younger ones on the table.

"Pa, ma, chiak seng."

The more serious elders would gruffly nod their heads while the more cheerful ones will break out in smiles and say, "Chiak! Chiak!" to all and sundry. Only then would dinner time officially begin.

So one day, I was having dinner with a gang of giggling girls when our food arrived. We ordered the same thing so I pushed the plate to the youngest on the table first. But she pushed the plate over to me. The look that she gave me was eerily similar to the look I normally give to my elders when I invite them to eat first.

"No, YOU eat first," she said reverently.

It was then that I first realised that in the land of college girls, I'm an elder and therefore, worthy to receive all respects due to me in my culture.

The tables have turned. Maaaaan.

- Dad, mum, eat first (in Hokkien).

I miss this girl!!!

Photo Credits: MF

"I wonder what shall I wear today?" I chewed my lip as I rummaged through my closet.

My hands came upon a pair of well-worn jeans. My favourite pair of all. It's been yonks since I worn them last. I couldn't remember why.

"Well, no reason why you should stay hidden in the closet. It's time for you to rise and shine, my lovely!" I yanked it out and put it on. It fitted me very comfortably. I gave myself a last once-over in the mirror and hurried out of the house. Mustn't be late for church or I'll miss out on the worship.

I arrived on time and took my place amongst the crowd and was soon worshipping the Lord enthusiastically with them. As I closed my eyes and raised my hands, I received the answer to the question that I asked at home. That's how my brain works when it comes to long-forgotten memories. Ask any question, leave the brain alone while it goes on a data mining mission and the answer will come in a matter of minutes, hours and even days. On that particular Sunday, it came within the hour.

Question: Why haven't I worn this pair of jeans for the longest time?
Answer: Because it has been ripped in a strategic place just beneath the bottom.

Aiiieeeeeeeeee!!!

One hand immediately flew to cover the offending part. I glanced furtively at the congregation standing behind me. All eyes were closed, many hands were raised. No person appeared to be stumbled by that bit of tantalising flesh peeking through the hole. PHEW!!!

But the eyes of a kind friend nearly popped out of her sockets when I waved and passed her by.

"Latest fashion, is it?" she enquired.

I had the grace to blush. She gave me a couple of safety pins and soon I was all decent again.

Reminder to self: Patch up ripped jeans and never leave home without a safety pin.

Photo Credits

The first quarter of 2007 is nearly gone. Time flies so fast, doesn't it? Three months just seemed to whiz by in a blink of an eye.

I did a bit of reflection today about the past three months and found that it had been a great time of growth and moving boldly and effectively in the areas of my passion and calling. In comparison, last year had been tumultuous and I found myself being distracted by many things. As a result of that, it was easier to know what I need to discard and put off so that I would have more focus in the important things this year.

These distractions can be very dangerous because they drain the energy from doing the things that I know I should do. They also give a form of false comfort and I place more importance in them than being where I should be. As a result, when I was there at the place of my calling, I wasn't giving my best, my all to it. Physically I was there, but my heart was somewhere else. Worse, I began to resent being there because it was taking me away from my oh-so-lovely time-wasters. I think it was God's grace that worked through me (the relunctant vessel) when I was there because of a sense of duty. People were still blessed by what I did - thank God that His love for them overwrote this distraction-filled person (me).

If I'm not careful, these time-wasters can easily creep upon me again. There are just so many distractions to list down but here are the main ones:

• Double-mindedness - having too many new things and nifty hobbies clamouring for attention that I do not know which ones to focus upon.


• Fear - that I'll be alone in this journey, that God didn't really call me to take up this path and His annointing won't be upon me anyway.

There are more distractions listed in this helpful and enlightening book Distractions From Destiny by Harry and Cheryl Salem which I read late last year when I was battling with my distractions.

Needless to say, I was frustrated with what happened last year and came to God in absolute despair, baggages, distractions and all. "Oh Father, only You can sort out the mess that is me!"

He is a good Father who helped me see what's important to discard and what should remain. And gave me renewed passion for the important things. With passion, things don't seem like a burden nor an obligation anymore. There is a great sense of fulfillment because you feel like you are doing what you were meant to do all along. And truly, that's the best feeling of all - next to being in love, of course

Ah well, it's just the first quarter of 2007. Here's to the next three quarters of the year. May it be an exciting, productive and distraction-free year for you and me!