Coolcat's Jottings

Attention, attention

I don't do this very often but when it comes to a cause I support, I will start pimping it. A long-time blog reader, commentator and pal has finally revealed himself to be a Hakka. And the freaky thing was, he guessed that I was a Hakka, too - all from my Chinese name. He begged me not to reveal who he is, nor to advertise his all-things Hakka blog. But I think it's good to let people know what we Hakkas are really like. Not all of us eat dogs, you know.

Anyway, hope over to As Hakka As We Get to immerse yourself in some of our culture and cuisine. It's a fairly new blog, so I'm hoping that it will get populated with more juicy stuff as they go along.

There we were, the three of us, in an intense discussion of life and love. Of the birds and the bees. Each bearing different perspectives. Each convinced that their point of view is right.

And the strange thing was, we discovered that each of us came pre-wired with things our parents have drummed into us ever since we were young.

"Above all, treasure your independence! Never give up your job no matter how rich or successful your husband is."

"Don't trust someone with all your heart - even if they are married to you. They will just disappoint you."

"For a marriage to work, someone must give in. Two proud logger-heads will split a marriage apart."

And so on and so forth. Like a broken recorder, we found ourselves repeating the words that our mothers spoke to us. Some things were good. Some were neutral - just a different way of looking at life. But some others were not.

It was scary to discover that. Scary because we know that from observing our parents' marriages there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Scary because while those theories wrought by experience have worked for our parents, it might not work for us because we are made of different stuff these days. Scarier still because most of the pre-programmed information might only surface after the marriage deed was done or when the children comes.

I guess that's where pre-marital counseling would help bring out some, if not most of these issues to the surface. And I think it helps to have both partners being willing to change and seek help and do what they can to make their marriage work.

For all the good intentions that our parents have in warning us not to trust people easily nor be a blind good Samaritan, some of their teachings might not bear good fruits. Yes, we do need to honour them by listening to their viewpoints with love and respect, but we owe it to the wellbeing of our marriage and our children to un-learn the old patterns, re-learn the wholesome ones and practice the new habits. And we pray that we are not too blind our own set patterns of behavior to change. Otherwise, we would find ourselves doomed to repeat the same old pattern and be stuck in the same rut in our own relationships.

CC, Jenn, Jenn's niece and Rina

We celebrated our dear friend Jenn's birthday yesterday at Hartz Chicken Buffet yesterday. The whole place was nearly empty saved for our large group. We suspected that it was because of the bird flu. Bezzie and I decided to just go ahead and plunge into the main course - chicken - because well, we're eventually all going to die anyway one day and it's better to die risking bird flu on a beloved friend's birthday than to die for any other superficial reason. Right, Rina? Errr... Rina?

One of the highlights of the evening were the games organised by Jenn's mischievous brothers. The two clowns split the group into two - an all-girls group and the other was an all-guys group. Each group was given a piece of paper, a marker pen and we formed two lines. Jenn was seated in the middle and was instructed to pose like a model in an art class. Each contestant was given 5 seconds to draw Jenn's portrait before passing the pen on to the next person.

This was the result. Can you tell which one was produced by the girl's team? Hint: I was the one who drew Jenn's nice eyes

Another hint: Guys can be so evil

And since Jenn is still a hot single, her naughty brothers rigged a game where only the single guys could participate. The winner would get a movie ticket to watch a show with Jenn last night. She managed to persuade her brothers to let us gals participate but a single guy won the game anyway. Haha, nice try Jenn.

Overall, it was a great time of catching up with old friends. Rina and I left the party thinking how blessed Jenn was to have such wacky brothers who cared so much for their sister's welfare.

Happy birthday, Jenn. Hope you had a great time last night at the movies

The sun was shining into my eyes, as I squinted behind my sunnies to peer into a car parked right in front of my office. The man seated behind the steering wheel looked very very unfamiliar.

"It's only been nearly a year. Don't tell me he has changed THAT much!" I gawked at the guy in horror. His hair was longer and more unkempt. Instead of the previous six (or was it four?) packs, he had them all lumped into one. And was that a double chin I see? Egads, what happened to my friend?

Before I could rub my eyes to make sure that I was not seeing things, a very familiar voice greeted me from behind. I turned around to look.

"Hey, cannot recognise me anymore ar?"

And there he stood, grinning away - looking very much like the person I remembered. Thank goodness he wasn't the uncle that I was staring at for the past few seconds. I was relieved because seeing an old friend changing so much physically can be rather shocking and traumatising in a way.

He said I hadn't changed a jot - but I did - I gained two jots Maybe that's his standard line in greeting old friends, so that he won't get into unnecessary trouble.

Then we had a nice time lunching, yakking and reminiscing. And then talked about how bad we were at saying goodbyes (read this and this). He said it never gets any easier. I said that it can get tiring to get close to someone (he used a nice term on his blog post - platonic soulmates - I like it!) just to say goodbye to them through death, migration, resignation, change in their stages of life, etc.

"I feel like just writing up a FAQ to the next best friend who comes along and ask him/her to read it and get up to speed with who I am. It gets tiring to do this over and over again sometimes," I said with a tired sigh.

"But that's the best part about gaining a friend. It's fun sharing who you are and what makes you tick with someone else," he begged to disagree.

I honestly do not understand how he does it every year. Coming back for a couple of weeks, reconnecting with his dear ones and then having to uproot and leave again when he has adjusted to the jet lag and our unique Malaysian ways.

While it was really nice meeting up for lunch (and dinner!), it's hard to say hello and goodbye to a friend in the same day. Take care, TK. Till next year.

What on earth is this thing? Is it :

1. the perfect rug - not so rough that it hurts the legs and not so soft that you don't feel a thing


2. a hair ball


3. a stress-reliever thingamajic


4. all of the above

I found it so bizarre, so out-of-this-country that I lost interest in my food momentarily to snap this pic. So, humor me a little on this draggy day.