Coolcat's Jottings

The last blog post gave me some ideas of the possibility of writing a Love Compatibility software. However, I think I already can foresee the outcome.

Love possibilities: A humanitarian, a hunk, and a psycho cat

Here are the predicted results:







Sigh

Have been immersed in Excel Macro/VBA coding for the past few days and it has insidiously transformed me into a generator of horrible puns.

Case in point:

fren: i just had a very nice meal of yong tau foo. shop run by a former intel engineer
cc: wow
cc: from chips to taufu bits

Fren was tickled pink by that pun somehow and asked if I could code a miracle.

fren: i hear that excel macros are not that tough to code. but you need to know the inner workings
cc: yeah, the hateful functions and arrays
cc: the cell positionings
fren: heheh. like manouvering for a good placement in a love triangle
cc: hmmm
cc: dunno which is trickier
cc: coding or loving
cc: gosh, i think coding makes me churn out real bad puns
fren: )
fren: do you think you can code excel to calculate the probabilities of a love match?
cc: i am now comparing dates of interest maturity
cc: that's light years away from wat u r asking
cc: besides, if i knew the answer to yr question, i won't even be coding
cc: i'll be setting up shop right next to Lillian too's store in Mid Valley
cc: and get more customers too!

Honestly, I'd rather write pages and pages of flowery words than to write a few lines of code. Coding is turning me into the corniest puntist ever. So excuse me if I don't sound like myself for the next few days.

Ack.

End.

"Offensive to 22 year olds, hillarious, dreamy and anti-climatic" are some of the words used by an avid blog reader to describe my latest short story offering. Thanks for your feedback, my dear girl. Appreciate it.

Here are some background and insights behind the story, for you romance junkies out there. You know who you are, hehe! :

1. The story was inspired by an "Uncle Tan" in my life. Someone whom I missed dearly, more than my ex.


2. I am a hopeful pragmatic romantic (is that an oxymoron??). In real life, I would caution against getting back with an ex if the reason behind the breakup has not yet been resolved. That would be asking for trouble. But I am an advocate of second chances, having been the recipient of God's second chances in life myself. I believe people can change for the better if they are suitably motivated to. And most of all, I believe in the power of love.


3. I have nothing, absolutely nothing against 22 year olds - yeah, got some flack from a 22 year old reader! Just an observation that when I was that age, I was clueless, immature and highly volatile. Heck, for all I know, I probably still am all that! And I do know for a fact though, that my engaged friends who are stable and happy with each other are 22 years of age. So it's not you (22 year olds), it's me


4. Regardless of what Harry in 'When Harry Met Sally' says or what Uncle Tan thinks, I believe that a guy and girl can be platonic friends, and nothing more than that.

Anyway, I hoped that you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I've changed my mind (yet again!) about the story I'm writing for Nanowrimo. Blame it on my dad who firmly and shyly refused to let me read his love letters sulk sulk

The working title of my story shall be 'Desperadoes Anonymous'. Who knows, I may just post the story as I chug along the month of November, with not much of a social life and happily pecking away on my keyboard. And munching on my squid.

It's been a couple of weeks since my visit to Pornthip Sea Store and I finally decided to feast on the delectable Spicy Cuttlefish that I bought from there. I've been putting it off for weeks, mainly because it looked like a messy task to unpack it from its tight plastic wrappings.

So, anyway after a couple of weeks' worth of the silent 'Eat Me! Eat Me!' messages that the Squid sent, I finally succumbed to the temptation.

I brought it to the kitchen and began the messy task of unwrapping the cuttlefish. At first, the scent was barely noticeable. But as I tore the plastic wrappings wide open, the stank became unbearable. Like pots and pots of belacan and cencaluk all mixed together in a wok or something. I couldn't remember the last time I smelled a pong that bad. Phew!!!

And oh, my poor mom! She was gaily chatting with me when she suddenly grew very quiet and quickly took her leave from the kitchen.

"Are you sure you are going to eat that awful thing? How would your boyfriend react if you eat this in front of him?" she said from the safety of the dining room. Fingers tightly pinched on her nostrils.

"Mom, remember? I don't have a boyfriend. I just have... squid. Evil smelling squid."

I gave a baleful look at the strips of cuttlefish lying helplessly in front of me and took a tentative bite at one. Mmmmm... they taste great. And after a while, you kinda get used to the smell.

That's it, another great reason why being single is great. You don't have anyone to impress and you can eat all the foul-smelling sotong you want.

Squid, anyone?

a continuation from Part 1 and Part 2

Uncle Tan decided to take matters into his own hands. Maybe if he could actually get those two to start talking, something might actually happen. His son was either too slow or too obtuse for words. Pah.

And so, Nicole and Jake found themselves in the Hartz All-You-Can-Eat Chicken buffet one Sunday afternoon. The minute they saw each other, they exchanged a wry grin.

"What's the old man's excuse?" was Jake's first sentence.

"He wanted to return my Neil Sedaka cd collection and at the same time have lunch with him. I should have guessed something was afoot."

"Nah, I don't blame ya. He can be real sneaky. An all-you-can-eat buffet. Who would have thought it was a setup? The man's a genius!"

"So, are we gonna eat or are we gonna leave?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Since we're here, we might as well eat and 'talk things over'. Make the old man happy."

Nicole agreed. She had a great week at work and seeing Jake again so unexpectedly really made her day. "It's my treat, ok? Don't say no. I got promoted."

"Wow, congratulations!" he smiled with pride in his eyes. "You deserve it. And you've got your new car yet?"

"Yep! Am painting the town red these days," she said with a cheeky wink. "C'mon, let's get our food. I'm starving!"

And so they ate and chatted like nothing was wrong. Both talking about their lives. Their jobs. His studies. Her neurotic friends.

At the end of the meal, she looked at him thoughtfully, "You know, I never thought we could just hang out like this after... after things ended. But I'm glad to say that I actually had a great time. And, maybe we should do this more often."

"Yeah, and save my dad the hassle of concocting weird schemes to make us talk!" Jake grinned and they ended the very nice afternoon in laughter.

---

When Jake reached StarShots, his father was all ears.

"What happened? Did you confess? Or did she confess?"

Jake roared in laughter. "Pa, you are unbelieveable. You know that? Setting us up like that. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Well, a dad's gotta do what a dad's gotta do. Especially when he has a thickwood for a son."

"Hey, you shouldn't call your only son that, Pa."

"Enough of you. How did your date go?"

Jake held up a hand. "Pa, it wasn't a date. But yeah, it was nice hanging out with her after a while. I'm happy that things are looking up for her. I think we can be friends, after all."

"Friends??!! Friends????" Uncle Tan's face flushed bright red. "I didn't plan all this just so you two can be friends! How could you do this, Jake? After all I did to help you!"

"Pa, thanks for your concern and your help. But really, Nicole and I are happy with our lives now. And I'm grateful that we are still friends."

Jake patted his dad's dejected shoulders and don on his StarShots' apron. "I better get back to work, Pa. Customers are waiting."

---

Jake and Nicole eventually did have 'the talk'. What went wrong, who assumed what and the whole hoo-haa. And they discovered that they made one too many assumptions about each other, were quick to rush into half-brained conclusions. In short, they were immature morons who were not ready for any serious relationships. What do you expect from a couple of 22 year olds? *22 year old readers, no offense meant!*

And with all the baggages they have to settle, and the growing up they had to do, they thought they'd make better friends for now. In future, who knows what may transpire?

"Ever worried if you will end up an old geezer with no one to love?" Nicole smiled teasingly at him while hanging out at StarShots one day.

"Nope, Pa will make sure I reproduce all right," Jake smiled in return. "Honestly, I still think he's got the most serious crush on ya, Nic."

"Eh, I heard that!" Uncle Tan frowned from behind the counter.

"Yep," Nicole said as the old man continued muttering behind the counter. "You've absolutely nothing to worry about. Not when you've got dad!"

"I suppose you know that that means you're in trouble."

She rolled her eyes, "You know, I absolutely have no idea of what you are talking about!"

"You heard me, Pa is not letting you off the hook that easily. We may have to have another one of those 'talks' one day."

To his joy, she giggled like a schoolgirl at that. "All in good time, Jake Tan. All in good time."

Uncle Tan who was eavesdropping nearby felt genuinely puzzled. They talked like friends, but they are looking at each other now like lovers. He never could understand how Jake took so long to see what he could spot in Nicole from Day 1 itself. Ah well, love shall have its way in the end. And Uncle Tan would have his grandson. Now that's something to look forward to.

~ The End ~