Home Sweet Home

"Is your sister coming home for dinner tonight?" mom asked bro the other day.

"Nope, I think she's got an appointment with her mahjong kakis," he replied.

My mom's eyes became as wide as saucers.

"My little girl (yes, she still calls me that!) has started playing mahjong? Oh my..."

Of course my brother assured her that my mahjong kakis were actually referring to my stage buddies. None of us really know how to play mahjong wan.

Mahjongs (a game comprising of ivory-like tiles with pictures and symbols on them) are normally associated with gossipy aunties and such ala The Joy Luck Club. Although I do know of peers who have played mahjong at a very young age.

But I can imagine what must have gone through my mom's mind. That I hardly seemed like the type to be a mahjong auntie. And that if I were indeed a mahjong auntie, then she would be the mother of a mahjong auntie. If there's anything worse than being a mahjong auntie, it's being the mother of one. Yikes.

But my mom should have nothing to worry about. For Flo and I have made a pact to not look like those aunties who sit around with curlers in their hair, play mahjong and gossip all day long. If we must be aunties, then we shall do it with dignity and flair.

So if any of you catch ever me sliding into the mahjong auntie state, print out this blog entry thwack it on my curler-riddled hair. I might even thank you for it.

I may look like a dishevelled auntie but I shall resist curlers till the very end!

My dad and I have different languages of love.

Maybe that's why it's hard for us to feel deeply touched by the way we show our love to each other.

Not too long ago, my dad went out to tapau* food for us. He asked us what we'd like to eat.

"Bah Kut Teh," I said like a shot.

My mom and bro ordered Hokkien Mee. And off my dad went.

When he came back, he brought back Hokkien Mee and Cantonese Fried Ying Yong. No Bah Kut Teh. Never mind lor, I love Ying Yong, too and ate it with gusto. And then mom asked him what happened to my Bah Kut Teh (BKT). It seemed that the BKT shop he went to was closed on Friday and so, he had to walk quite a distance to another BKT shop. Which was closed, too. Having tried his best to satisfy my craving, he got the next best thing he knew I liked. Ying Yong.

As he was explaining to mom about his tapau-ing adventures, I sat there eating my Ying Yong thoughtfully.

Now, by right I should have felt all warm and fuzzy and touched by what my dad went through in his attempt to buy food for me. But I wasn't. Reason being, my dad has a penchant to speak in a very loud voice. Almost like shouting. Mom says it's because of a damaged ear drum during a swimming accident during his younger days. He couldn't hear himself talking on softer decibels and thus had to resort to shouting most of the time.

So anyway, I looked at dad and tried to manufacture and squeeze out some kinda loving feeling towards him but felt nothing.

Then I went to cell group and shared the experience with my cell members. As I shared what my dad did for me, I started feeling that warm fuzzy thing in my heart. Wow. I guess the absence of loud voices helped my heart to recognise love in other languages.

And yesterday, my dad helped tremendously in waiting long long hours for my car to be fixed at the workshop and making sure that everything was alright with my car. I thought I saw his face lighted up when I asked him for a favour and he was happy to be of help to me. And this time, I felt truly loved and when I thanked him, it was fresh from the warm fuzzy feelings in my heart.

I guess after all these years, I'm beginning to learn how to appreciate his language of love, which is Acts of Service. After all, that's my bezzie Rina's language of love, too.

And Papa, here's my language of love to you. I love you very, very much. Thanks for loving me from the day I was born. I knew it in my mind all along. But now, I feel it more and more.

* tapau - buy take-away food

I received a sunflower today for my birthday from a significant person.

And that made all the difference.

It was exactly what I wanted.

I'm very, very touched and blessed.

Thank you.

Another bright spot of the day - mom is finally back home! She can see albeit with squinty eyes until she has completely recovered. She says thanks for all your prayers and concern.

It was nice sitting at the dining table, having tea with my dad, mom, and bro just now. Dad and bro updating mom on the current Korean drama's latest twists and turns. Dad showing me the latest air ticket prices at Matta which made my eyes turn even bigger than they already are. And us trying in vain to help mom who heaped oodles and oodles of sweet marmalade on her crackers. She couldn't really see clearly with sunnies on her eyes mah. Dad mumbling something about contracting diabetes and such, and us defending mom and switching on the lights so that she can see better.

Ah, that's a typical tea-time scenario for the Coolcat family.

And it's good to have mom back home again where she belongs.

Rina and I sometimes wonder what it is that draws us together. One of the reasons we thought was because we are both the third child in our family. We both have two older sisters and one younger brother. Maybe that's why we have so much in common and could get along so well.

Today, I found this cute list by Sebastian Belanger on the ten best things about being a third child. I took the liberty to post it here and comment a little on how they affect my life as a third born.

1. There won't be any pressure to get married and have kids so you can concentrate on your career as a professional ultimate player.
   - Agreed (not the player part though, I hope!). Although my folks never did pressure my two older sisters to get married either. They are all for marriage but they are more concerned with us marrying a person who can take good care of us.


2. You won't need to worry about the hassle of sitting beside a windy window seat during family car rides.
   - Haha, I remember how my two older sisters would make me and my brother sit in the middle of the car while they enjoy sitting at the window seats. Call it the "Elderly Privilege"


3. Three kids are better than one especially when it's time to convince the parents to go on family vacations to places like Disneyland or Mt. Splashmore.
   - I don't remember ganging up with my siblings to persuade our folks to go for vacations. What I do remember is us ganging up to persuade our parents to forgive a sibling who is being disciplined for misbehaving. And to allow us to go out with friends and do fun stuff.


4. You will be the proud owner of hand-me-down wardrobe for your entire life.
   - Hey, this is NOT a benefit of being the third child. And this certainly deserves a blog post on its own. Man, the things I can tell you about those hand-me-downs. Gah.


5. The third little pig avoided getting eaten by the wolf by building a beautiful brick home (whatever that means?).
   - Yeah, I wonder what the point is, too? Probably it means that the third child would learn the mistakes the other two made and avoid making them herself...?? I think in my case, it was the opposite. My two older siblings were more timid and obedient. I wanted to be different and thus was more adventurous and reckless. Yeah, I was quite a handful, I was.


6. By the time you become a teenager, Mom and Dad will barely be disciplining anymore.
   - Not entirely true. But the third child learns fast on how to evade being disciplined and point fingers at the second and last child. Worked everytime for me. Hehehe.


7. Everyone knows that the baby of the family can concentrate on being spoiled and having fun while the older siblings can deal with being "responsible".
   - YES! That might explain why I'm such a fun-loving person as compared to my more serious siblings.


8. There won't be any embarrassing pictures of the third child (actually there won't be any pictures at all).
   - No, my folks were fair and took equal pics of all of us.


9. There will always be someone older than you around to take care of you / tell you what to do.
   - Yeah, sometimes it sucks but I learned at an early age how to avoid being manipulated by my sisters. It's a very handy survival skill.


10. Everyone knows that the third time's a charm.
    - This I cannot deny! You can't blame us third-borns for being naturally divine and charming creatures. Ahem *Ahem*

HL's Response on That's What Big Sisters Are For. Just thought I'd share this with you guys unedited and uncut (her English is very powerful and she used to tutor me for my 1119 paper. I'm sooo proud of her!)...

Dear Ariel,

With regard to your thanks, you are most welcome!!

I guess I just could not stand by while you were not treated the way I thought you deserve. I have almost forgotten the meet-the-teacher episode until you reminded me of that. The only thing that I can still remember (and see) up till today is your beautiful set of teeth, obtained through much persuasion on my part ( I remember telling Mummy that I would pay for it if she does not want to do anything about it) and pain on yours. I wanted you to have a better set of teeth than mine and a beautiful smile all your life and I am glad that I did what I had to then.

Although sometimes I appear to be very busy and caught up with my family life, rest assured that I will still be there for you if you need me. Just let me know.

Lots of love from your second sister,
HL

Before you all go mushy and stuff, I distinctly remember her telling me that me and my future hubby should kiss her toes all lifelong for making me wear those braces. But please, don't remind her of that, ya?