Humour

Fireflies... so lomantic hor?


This is a purely hypothetical blog entry. Of a person called Miss A. She's been to see fireflies at Kampung Kuantan, Kuala Selangor for about four times already. The enthusiasm sort of fades with each time she goes there. To the extent that the last time someone asked if she'd like to go pay homage to the fireflies that make their nest by the river bank, it was all she could do to keep herself from rolling her eyes and gagging away, and muster a sweet no instead.

• The long drive on an awfully bumpy road.


• The army of mosquitoes.


• The long, long queue at the ticket booth.


• The long, long wait for your turn to get into a boat.

You can imagine why she wasn't too crazy when a few friends suggested going there again. On two separate occassions.

Bleh. Bleh.

But despite all that unsavoury aspects of the trip, she suspects she knows why the place is always so packed and happening. Folks are not there just to see the fireflies. They have a more dastardly reason - to finally be able to hold hands with the girl/guy of their dreams

As you know and as Miss A knows, holding hands for the first time is a very, very sweet experience.

The first time Miss A ever held a guy's hand was when she was crossing the road with a college mate. The road was very dangerous and busy, so he proferred his hand, she took it and he never let go. Waaah. Sweet hor?

After that, she held quite a number of hands that she lost count (except for Tun Dr Mahathir's hand whom she still hopes to have a chance of shaking!). But one memorable incident remained. She remembered having a crush on this fellow and wondering if he likes her, too. That question was answered in Fireflies Village. As he helped her into the boat, he held her hand for the first time and sparks were ignited. The stars she saw in her eyes (and his) far surpasses the beauty of the fireflies flying around dutifully amidst the ooohs and aaahs of the jakun tourists.

And like fireworks, the sparks fizzled soon after. But if there's anything good she learned from her firefly trips is that it's a darn good excuse to start holding someone's hand.

To find out more about this one-of-a-kind trip, traipse over to Journey Malaysia. If you haven't been there already, Miss A strongly encourages you to go before the fireflies go extinct. Go lar, even if you don't have any dastardly motives in mind

Went to Speedy yesterday to get an Elvis cd for research purposes. Couldn't locate any, so asked for help at the counter.

Sales assistant: De che tiang? (Who are you looking for?)
Me: Elvis Presley.
Sales assistant: Si mi lang?? (Whozzat??)
Me:(slow mo) El...vis Pres...ley.
Sales assistant: (gave me a pen and paper) Sia khi lai (Write it down)

As I wrote down THAT name, I was flabbergasted and shocked that he had never heard of the Elvis Presley - the King, the Legend. With the paper in hand, we checked the aisles for the cd but they didn't seem to have any on stock.

Sales assistant: Ee si ta poh ah si cha boh? (Is this person male or female?)
Me: Ta poh. Si liao. (Male. Dead already)

Then I proceeded to sing a line of 'Always on My Mind'. Nope, that didn't ring a bell in the teenager's head.

sigh

It's sad but I guess it's just a matter of time before the younger generation in Malaysia forgets all about crooners of the days of old. Especially when their parents grew up listening to Bananarama, Modern Talking and Duran Duran. For my love for oldies, I have my dad to thank. It would be something worth passing on to the next generation.

Heh, this is farnee... So that's how I'd look like bald, eh?

Got this brilliant idea when hanging out at Longkang (some mamak in PJ) with the Punctuations gang just now.

1. Be in the company of your intended victim. Best to position yourself opposite victim.
2. Put your handphone on your ear and pretend to call someone.
3. Look at the victim in the eye and say whatever it is you've been wanting to say.
4. When victim becomes shocked or offended, continue to talk as if you are really talking on the phone and coolly look away.
5. Victim will sheepishly 'realise' that you are not actually talking to them.

Simple hor?

Here's a couple of suggested things to say:

• If the victim is your boss - "Aiya, you are so stingy. How come never give me a raise wan?"


• If the victim is your secret crush - "Eh, I think you are cute. Wanna have dinner with me tonite?" In this case, it's very, very important to see if they respond favourably or otherwise. If response is good, for goodness sakes, skip Step #4 & #5!!!


• If the victim is a lazy course mate/colleague - "You know what happens to lazy people? I eat them for breakfast."
  

Anyway, you get the drift