Coolcat's Jottings

I was reading on my bed at late last night, when I suddenly felt nauseaus. My body was shaking and for a moment I thought that it was a sign of extreme exhaustion. I sat up a little straighter. The movement did not stop. In fact, it seemed to come externally. I looked at my bed with wide eyes and it was moving. I quickly got on my feet and by jove, the floor was shaking, too.

I heard my brother rushing out of his room and knocking frantically on my door. It was then that I realised that the whole house was moving and we have to get out - fast.

I opened the door. Only a few words were exchanged, "Felt the earth move? Let's get dad and mom out of here, too." We grimly ran down the stairs.

Didn't take much to convince my mom about it. I pointed to the unswitched-on fan hanging on the ceiling. It was shaking.

My dad was skeptical about the whole thing but followed all of us out of the house anyway. We stood for a moment gazing at our house and our neighbourhood. We saw one or two neighbours walking out as well. But generally, the surrounding houses were quiet - except for the barking dogs.

My brother and I still felt the earth moving under our feet, praying in our hearts for God's protection. We also wondered how bad the earthquake is this time around.

The earth movement stopped after a short while and we slowly got back into the house.

This morning, I read in dismay that about 300 hundred people were killed in Indonesia last night. Life goes on as usual in Klang Valley but for the families affected by the tragedy, their world as they know it has changed forever

(a sort of continuation from Fare Thee Well)

When I got home that night, my eyes were red and puffy. My mom and bro commented that I looked tired but didn't probe further. I wasn't about to tell them that I had been crying.

I can just imagine my mom saying, "Hah? Why are you crying over a colleague? Aiya, it's just a small matter only, don't fret."

Heh, I'd probably say the exact same thing if my brother comes back and having red eyes over the last day of a colleague.

In my room, I read a few books that would help me put what I felt into words. Well, there were no writings on 'Comfort When A Colleague Leaves For Greener Pastures' but there were good encouragement notes by Selwyn Hughes on the topic of 'When A Friend Dies' or something like that. Close enough, I should think

As I poured out my feelings to the Lord, trying to understand the reason behind my sadness, I sensed that the root cause was that I was filled with fear and anxiety of the coming days now that Mike had left the company. No longer was he around to guide me, address issues that I might have overlooked nor bounce my ideas to. And I was fearful that with the onslaught of responsibilities that have come my way, I may not be able to cope with the demands.

Then, the Lord impressed upon my heart gently that He wants me to grow up on another level now and not to worry, for I can depend fully upon His wisdom and guidance. He will give me all that I need to carry out my responsibilities.

I felt like a load of bricks falling off my shoulders and later as I confided to my bro about my puffy eyes, he did not ridicule me but listened with patience and compassion. Isn't he the greatest bro ever?

The next day, I felt wonderful and the stressed feeling I had experienced all week had all but disappeared.

I'm just so grateful for the peace of God that sustains me.

Phew!

Me and Mikey


About five minutes ago, Mike packed up his bags and was about to leave the office when I suddenly remembered that I need to take a photo with him before he leaves. It's his last day today.

So we took a photo together and then with two other colleagues and although I was smiling in the photo, I was sad inside. I still am. As I kept the camera back into the case, the tears came.

I guess I'm bad when it comes to saying goodbye

A Sweet Ending - A Rose

I did not realise it but for quite a while, I have had the impression that the church favours the leadership of guys rather than women. So when Pr Dr Lee Choo thanked my church for appreciating their women congregation by hosting WoW, a voice inside me suddenly spoke up sinisterly, "Eh, they really appreciate us, meh?"

Whoa... now where did that come from? I disregarded the voice but it left quite a bitter after-taste somehow.

Then the second day of the conference came and we had a surprise at the end. Three male speakers were invited to answer any questions that we ladies wanted a guy's perspective of. Wow, this was cool!

Pr Chris said that he's ok whenever he preaches to a congregation of over 1,000 people but now, in the face of a mere 400 women, he was filled with fear and trembling. Gosh, are we women really that intimidating to men?

The three male speakers very bravely tackled the questions that were posed to them - most of them were difficult but dealt with very real issues in life especially in relationships between men and women. At the end of the day, the conclusion was, that we respect each other and don't do things that either party is uncomfortable with. In other words, play fair and don't manipulate.

As the conference drew to an end, Pr Chris suddenly made an announcement which went like this:

"We, the guys in the church, would like to appreciate the women in our midst. So, a group of us guys gathered together and stayed up till very late last night to wrap a rose for every one of you ladies. Some of the roses may look like they are dying and we apologise because as guys, we have no idea on how to keep them looking fresh! Also, please do not look too closely at the way they are wrapped because some of us are all thumbs when it comes to wrapping gifts. But we hope that you feel the deepest appreciation that we have for what you have done, who you are and what you mean to us."

Oh my... I teared when he made that speech and felt the resentment that was revealed to me the day before about the church favouring guys, melting away. We ladies received the roses reverently and really, that was such a beaufiful ending to a most wonderful conference.

Now I not only know it in my mind, but I also feel it my heart that I am a woman of worth in God's sight. Fully affirmed and appreciated - and yes, we do need regular doses of these!


~ The End ~

From left to right: Julie, Jo, Aunty Linda and I



From left to right: Irene and Jo