Monday, July 16. 2007

4 Sekawan (4 Friends)

After many months, 4 old school chums met up at the 4 Sekawan Cafe. The tag line was apt - "The good old days!"

And reminisce about the good old days we did. It's funny how different things look like when you see them again through adult eyes. How we were governed by petty jealousies and took many, many things personally back then. They weren't kidding when they coined the term 'growing pains'.

We are closer to some of our school chums now than we were back then. The reverse is also true - we had sworn friends in the past whom are never to be heard from again after leaving school.

One thing that we are glad for is that we are still friends and still in touch. Despite not being schoolmates for many years now and the changes wrought within us through circumstances in life. Come to think of it, it's actually a miracle that we are still keeping in touch. One of them, Flo is my best friend since Secondary 1 and we knew each other since Primary 1. She's probably the oldest friend I have to date. So you can imagine this very precious and scarce treasure that I have in this sweet, sweet friend of mine. The one who knows my whole life history and who shares quite a few mannerisms and quirks with me. I have no idea who influenced who!

Anyway, to my 3 sekawans, I'm glad we made the effort to keep in touch over the years. Let's continue to do so for the years ahead. Friendships are one of the things that get better with age.
Posted by coolcat in Friends at Permalink | Comments (9) | Trackbacks (0)
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*Good thing your maid is a nice person, otherwise it'll be an insult leh.
#1 Anonymous on 2007-07-18 06:57 (Reply)
*"the lady on the far left resembles my maid."

most distasteful comment i've come across. should be removed from this blog.
#2 Anonymous on 2007-07-20 11:11 (Reply)
*You are right, kwipex and thanks for speaking up. It's really unfortunate when a good friend simply say things about my other good friends in the name of fun. Out of respect of both my friends, I shall remove both the photo and the comment.
#3 Anonymous on 2007-07-20 12:33 (Reply)
*I would like to clarify to Kwipex10 about my comments.

You appear to be offended that I made that statement/observation. It was my observation from the way one of CC's friend looked. She looked/resembled like my maid.

Now, I dont know how this could be taken as offensive.

Firstly, you dont know how my maid looks like. You may be assuming she looks ugly or worst and such comparison is an insult to CC's friend. But that isnt true, my maid is very decent looking and a very nice person. I didnt say those words to spite or insult. It was only to state my surprise that she looked like my maid.

Secondly, if you 'took' offense (because i did not create the offense nor made a statement to offend any reader), then I ask the question why should you be offended? Does saying someone look like someone's maid is demeaning or insulting?
Are you presuming that the job of a maid so demeaning?
I doubt everyone share that opinion, as I know we look to our maid as a helper/servant, not a slave. It is just a job being a maid.

So, where is this offence taken from?
#4 Anonymous on 2007-07-28 01:22 (Reply)
*"Do I like comments that I look like their maid?" Sadly, no. When I picture the word 'maid', I saw my 3 maids from Indonesia whom I had trouble dealing with their itsy bitsy annoying stuff. So, sadly but true, I don't like that comment if it ever falls on me. I tested on my hubby (aussie) asked him how would he react when someone commented that I resemble their maid. From his world, he picture the word maid with french maids...wearing short short skirt. Duh! So, different people have different experience associated with maid. Mine had been a bad one and I could say that most Msian have the same experience...maids running away with another man, stealing, child abuse, etc. And the same thing applies to the Indonesian who pictured Msian employer as abuser, stingy, rapist, etc. So, my verdict is some words/comments are better not said. Oh yes, I know about freedom in expressing opinion but look what happen now. Poor CC had to juggle between her two good friends. Perhaps in future, try this alternative method instead, "The lady on the far left resembles someone I know who is a very nice person."
#5 Anonymous on 2007-07-28 04:02 (Reply)
*Josh
I'm not offended by your post, but it contained negative innuendoes.

in this part of the world i'm in, maids are almost slaves by the way they're treated and their salary.

telling a muslim to 'go feed the dogs' is an insult, but other races would find it a pleasure to spend some time playing with the dogs.

it all depends on the context you're in.
#6 Anonymous on 2007-07-28 06:43 (Reply)
*Well said, bezzie. My principle is also the same - if a word may be deemed to be offensive to others, don't use it.
#7 coolcat (Homepage) on 2007-07-28 06:43 (Reply)
*Thanks for sharing / disagreeing.

You may perceive this as containing negative innuendo when one thinks from our own negative perception about maids, that they are 'slaves'.

In my view there arent slaves. I dont have any issue with that. Context also comes from the speaker, not just the listener. In fact, no one asked me of my context - before branding that as insulting! Only CC clarified for me that my maid was a nice person.

But that wasnt my point- that she is nice. Only she looked like my current maid.

I was specific that she only looks like my maid - i didnt say she is a maid or looked like a maid.

Although i respect that anyone can agree/disagree, my comment is that such offense was taken/adopted because of our own skewed view/vision of maids.

That is really unfair and uncalled for. Being a maid is just a job and for me one of the hardest jobs to have. I respect my maid and I feel really offended that people treat their maids badly and undeservingly.

It never crossed my mind that people perceive would maids to be of so low worth, and undesirable to be even compared to. That (prejudice) to me, is worst that saying someone look like a maid.
#8 Anonymous on 2007-07-28 07:29 (Reply)
*Ok, everyone has said what they need to say in this - which is quite a way off from what my blog entry is originally all about - the value of old friends in our lives.

I apologise for stepping on anyone's toes. With this, I'm going to close off commenting for this entry.
#9 coolcat (Homepage) on 2007-07-28 15:48 (Reply)

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