Groovy Jeans, Wrong Place

"I wonder what shall I wear today?" I chewed my lip as I rummaged through my closet.

My hands came upon a pair of well-worn jeans. My favourite pair of all. It's been yonks since I worn them last. I couldn't remember why.

"Well, no reason why you should stay hidden in the closet. It's time for you to rise and shine, my lovely!" I yanked it out and put it on. It fitted me very comfortably. I gave myself a last once-over in the mirror and hurried out of the house. Mustn't be late for church or I'll miss out on the worship.

I arrived on time and took my place amongst the crowd and was soon worshipping the Lord enthusiastically with them. As I closed my eyes and raised my hands, I received the answer to the question that I asked at home. That's how my brain works when it comes to long-forgotten memories. Ask any question, leave the brain alone while it goes on a data mining mission and the answer will come in a matter of minutes, hours and even days. On that particular Sunday, it came within the hour.

Question: Why haven't I worn this pair of jeans for the longest time?
Answer: Because it has been ripped in a strategic place just beneath the bottom.

Aiiieeeeeeeeee!!!

One hand immediately flew to cover the offending part. I glanced furtively at the congregation standing behind me. All eyes were closed, many hands were raised. No person appeared to be stumbled by that bit of tantalising flesh peeking through the hole. PHEW!!!

But the eyes of a kind friend nearly popped out of her sockets when I waved and passed her by.

"Latest fashion, is it?" she enquired.

I had the grace to blush. She gave me a couple of safety pins and soon I was all decent again.

Reminder to self: Patch up ripped jeans and never leave home without a safety pin.

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