Sex and the Marrieds

Coolcat's Jottings

Tuesday, February 27. 2007

Sex and the Marrieds

I realised something today. See, I've blogged on topics like being single, dating, marriage and even kids. But there's one thing which I have never publicly blogged before. And I thought, "By jove, I've gotta blog about this! It's a vital part of humanity. We would cease to exist without it. Yes, let's talk about sex!" So here goes nothing.

I always thought that married people have more sex. I mean, that's one of the benefits of being shackled together till death parts you, right?

Not so true, according to a friend. Apparently, sex in promiscuous settings and sex between married couples is vastly different.

It all started when he mentioned the date that his baby was made.

Surprised, I asked him this question. "How can you know that? I mean, if you have sex regularly, it'll be quite hard to pinpoint the exact date, right?"

His shocking answer was, "Well... The thing is, we don't have sex regularly."

I was gobsmacked. No regular sex? How can this be???

"Once you are married," my friend went on. "There are so many factors involved before you can have sex. Foreplay is extremely crucial here. The guy has to work hard to make sure his wife is happy the whole day right up till bed time to ensure that they will indeed have sex that day."

Uh oh. I just talked to his wife on the phone. And she didn't sound too happy with how the day went.

I looked at my poor friend straight into his eyes. "Well, I guess you won't be having sex tonight then."

He shook his head sadly. "You guessed right."

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And now, my blog is wholesomely complete :-)
Posted by coolcat in Thoughts at Permalink | Comments (20) | Trackbacks (0)
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*DEFINITELY a case by case situation. ;-)
#1 Anonymous on 2007-02-28 01:25 (Reply)
*here is there the question: wats more important? frequency vs quality? some say its should be a staple diet item on the menu while others may think it should be a snack to be savoured occasionally?
#2 Anonymous on 2007-02-28 01:40 (Reply)
*It is a challenge for married couple to stay in the relationship especially when they have children. But sex is not the only factor to keep the relationship grow. It is more than that that only two person who truly love each other will commit to do something to make the marriage works for a lifetime.:-)
#3 Anonymous on 2007-02-28 00:34 (Reply)
*hahahah! You got me too, girl! I thought it was easy but noooo.....
#4 Anonymous on 2007-02-28 22:31 (Reply)
*I remember my cousin in his early 20's saying.. "Marriage is just a license to $&&*"

But honestly.. i think sex in marriage is being misunderstood.

Sex is not "oh by the way let's get on with it"... it's supposed to heal the couples frictions of the day and build that relationship.

Sex is the expression of the relationship.. and not the fulfilment in the relationship

Because if we place it as the fulfilment.. boy.. are we being set up for a disappointment..

Face it.. not every guy is an Adonis...
and not every gal is an Aphrodite

What's my point? Sex is always a good idea, because it just helps to release tensions and to remind the couple that it's reenforcing of the One Flesh..

How i know? err.. well.. have been listening to Focus On The Family.. hahaha.. not by experience.. because I am still a virgin guy.. hahaha.. whips and all .. muahahhaa
#5 pjamess (Homepage) on 2007-03-01 00:41 (Reply)
*to be savoured? hmmmm...savoury(haam)+saap?
#6 Anonymous on 2007-02-28 01:57 (Reply)
*Cat, very true. Love and commitment should be the motivation behind all things done in a marriage.

Mark, I certainly hope so! :-D

Ah Chong, errr... I think as long as both parties are happy with their arrangement, then it's cool.

Sammy, oooi! Did I see a suggestive word there? This is not a hamsap blog lar :-P

#7 Anonymous on 2007-02-28 08:24 (Reply)
*Bravo girl...A complete wholesome blog.

A relationship will not complete without intimacy with our love one (no doubt). However, sometime the existing of babies or children in a family can make our love-making life less savoury. This is the time where couples need to mutually understand each other and find some other activities to strenghten up the relationship.

Recalled during our school day, ppl use the word 'SEX' mean - Selfish Enjoyment with X (anyone or someone that you are not very familiar with) :-P Does it mean sex is only applicable to one night stand?
#8 Anonymous on 2007-03-01 13:28 (Reply)
*Bezzie, gulp

Paulos, wah... thanks for sharing that edifying bit. Hey, so the whip and all are just smokescreens lar? LOL! Anyway, whips aside, am proud of you, man :-)

#9 coolcat (Homepage) on 2007-03-01 13:26 (Reply)
*Hey there KL, good points :-) Hmmm, I think the word sex can be used in any context where intercourse is involved. It's a neutral word.
#10 coolcat (Homepage) on 2007-03-02 06:09 (Reply)
*Sex is good. :-) Been married for 7 months now and am still discovering fun things about each other. Of course, sex becomes so much better when you appreciate your partner frequently. Women like to be pampered with words (but you must say it like you mean it!)...and then love making becomes so much more meaningful. Not just wham-bam-thank-you-maam.
#11 Anonymous on 2007-03-02 13:20 (Reply)
*So... what are the words?
Guys can be naive.. and say the wrong things in the heat of the moment..... and then it turns off the whole sex thing..
#12 pjamess (Homepage) on 2007-03-02 23:32 (Reply)
*Ya...what are the words ah?? I also want to learn! ;p You know what, the library here has book about 'How To Do 'IT'...great huh? I haven't borrow though.. :p paiseh!!
#13 Anonymous on 2007-03-03 21:14 (Reply)
*Gracie, we are waiting... hehehe, me oso very curious!

Paulos, that sounds like the hoof in the mouth disease - it strikes females, too leh :-P

Bezzie, borrow lar and give a detailed book report :-D
#14 coolcat (Homepage) on 2007-03-04 13:09 (Reply)
*No specific words la... it must come from the heart. How can give you exact words..then not shiok and original anymore la! :-) Tone of voice is also important ya...
#15 Anonymous on 2007-03-06 12:11 (Reply)
*7 months of experience and that's you can tell us? sigh...
Rina, with 1.5 months.. .maybe u can tell us more? hahhahaaha

Anyone else can share?

hahhahaa.. just kidding.
#16 pjamess (Homepage) on 2007-03-06 13:44 (Reply)
*Words : to say to the Darling Wife ( verbal foreplay?-RX for properly married ppl only )

1."u look swell today.."
(look at me...yah me too)

2."u look fab today !"
(could also mean - so u noticed i have been doing the laundry-THANK U)

3."wah ! your eyes ah ! mmmmm how come suddenly so striking one? ..."
(stop..dont move around so much, let me look into those lovely eyes-let me see if you are game for it..)

4."come closer Darling...i love the smell of your hair"
(ah..pantene u done it again)

5."let me take the rubbish out.." - then wink at her !
(awww, not again! but nvm i will always do it for u anytime i er...u know what i want la..!)

6."i LOVE* you"
(all time fave, * refer to ps chris's sermon last week-u can be totally specific about wat type of love.. ;-) )

7.Lets pray...
(sure fire one..unless she is er well,monthly rostered offline, u know it happens dont u? ,nvm..)

8.You are the most beautiful woman i have ever been married to..
(of course lah, but say in one fluid sentence or else it will not sound sincere,not recommended if wife is super serious type or the ultra giggly type)

9."just now wen i looked at u,i m was choked for words..so here is a song that says it all.."
-play the Air Supply Song 'making love out of nothing at all..'


10. "i brought u 2 Panadol,please take..Darling"



(she will ask u-wat for? I dont have a headache! ..


then u just grin/smile /wink..and say.."so wat are we waiting for?yahoo! "

#17 Anonymous on 2007-03-06 15:10 (Reply)
*Are men.. the "beggars" in this game of copulation?

Are we being blackmailed by sex?

It seems unfair.. can guys tarik harga or not? hahahha

I think not.. :p
#18 pjamess (Homepage) on 2007-03-07 04:06 (Reply)
*Sammy hit the nail on the head. You gotta let your spouse know you value their presence. The little things go a very, very long way.

Scripture sets us on the right path with wife [i]respect[/i] your husband, and husband [i]love[/i] your wife.

Why do you think guys act like fools to win a ladies attention? He feels as if he's impressed her, and that she looks up to him.

There is nothing that feels as good to a man as knowing that his lady love respects him. That often leads an unloving lout to learn to show his wife the love she deserves.
#19 Anonymous on 2007-03-07 17:29 (Reply)
*Paulos, I do hear of wives who complain that their husbands are the ones with 'headaches'. Rare instances but it does happen.
#20 coolcat (Homepage) on 2007-03-08 04:00 (Reply)

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