Lookin' Scary

Coolcat's Jottings

Wednesday, June 21. 2006

Lookin' Scary

My friend "Big Bro" Josh was voicing his concern over the safety of girls these days.

"You better don't go out too late," he said.

"But I can't help it sometimes. "

"Then live closer to your workplace."

"No can do. I love living at home with my parents. And of course, I'd be crazy to miss out on all that home-cooked food."

"Ok, then better get yourself prepared."

"Pepper spray ah?"

"No, pepper spray might be used against the victims. Better use those alarms/sirens attached to the keychain."

"Good idea."

"Yeah, and try looking uglier. It'll help in deflecting unwanted attention."

"Uglier???!"

"You know, wear a geeky looking pair of spectacles. That sort of thing."

After that guffaw-inducing conversation, I put some serious thought into what Josh had said. Reason being, he's older and has eaten more salt than me. Plus he's my big bro who always keeps an eye on me - surely what he had said about looking uglier merited some consideration.

After about two seconds of thinking, I decided that trying to look ugly ain't the answer to preventing crime from happening to your own person. After all, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. What is butt ugly to one man may be deemed rosily beautiful by another.

Nah, sorry Josh. Looking ugly won't work. What a girl needs to do is to look scary. Everyone can agree in unison what scary looks like. For centuries, everyone agreed that scary is defined by Count Dracula, and lately, by that boy in Omen.

It's not that hard to look scary. All you need is some deathly white powder, black lipstick, some red lipstick (to draw the Snake Lady sign on your forehead), a hair brush and a can of hair spray. Oh, and also a good make up artist. Check out the results in the pic below. Guaranteed to scare the living daylights out of any dastardly crime lord, eh?

image
Posted by coolcat in Humour at Permalink | Comments (21) | Trackbacks (0)
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*Yo..
I said "Dress Ugly"..
Anyway, i agree with you. If you wear that "Phantom of the Chinese Opera" hairdo and makeup, i am sure even Dr.M will be scared to rape you.
#1 Anonymous on 2006-06-21 02:58 (Reply)
*No, you said 'Look Ugly'. Just checked me archives.

Wah lau eh. For all his faults, I don't think Dr. M would rape women lar. Not at his age now, anyway.
#2 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-21 03:01 (Reply)
*did you really do up yourself like that for this post?

...or was it one of the many roles you acted for? O___o
#3 lisa on 2006-06-21 04:07 (Reply)
*Smart girl. Yep, it's my debut role in one of DUMC's productions. I made babies cry :-P
#4 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-21 04:28 (Reply)
*WOW!!! =))
that sums it up
all the best
tony
#5 Anonymous on 2006-06-21 04:39 (Reply)
*the good actors and actresses always get to play villains.

speaking of the issue of security, yeah my KL colleagues told me abt the recent cases. Quite scary. Try not to travel around alone ok...

and YES! I find it hard to leave all that home-cooked food, etc etc, too!!!
#6 alicey (Homepage) on 2006-06-21 09:50 (Reply)
*aikkks - you enlarged the pic?!?

sure hope no one gets nightmares tonight.. it better not be me.. >__<

#7 lisa on 2006-06-21 11:54 (Reply)
*Alicey, hahah - don't say so loud for our folks to hear. That we love their foodies as much as we love them :-P

Errr... which pic are you talking abt Lisa? Yr lovely avatar or my scary pic? :-P
#8 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-21 12:03 (Reply)
*I hate to say it..but yeah...scary.
#9 Anonymous on 2006-06-21 17:10 (Reply)
*I think that you are absolutely adorable in that picture! Now, what did I do with that eye-of-newt...
#10 Anonymous on 2006-06-22 13:26 (Reply)
*You know.. the words "You CANNOT ENTER!!!" accompanied by a synchronized forefinger movement with each word still rings in my head...

Can't believe it's the beloved Catsies that I have makan with from time to time. Couldn't recognise her on stage.

My stage characters are however so recogniseable :-P

As for the makeup etc etc..

Josh... Even Dr M with viagra wouldn't be able to do what you said he'd do.. he might collapse from a heart attack. Wonder if he's going for another bypass this year..

As for deterrents.. remember RObin Hood: Men in tights ? .. EVERLAST UNDERWEAR!!!

Apart from that.. you can learn the subtle art of self defense and ju jitsu.. break a wrist, dislodge and elbow or shoulder, gouge some eyes out, a simple old kick in da family jewels.. obviously the perpertrator has not found any better use of it.. ROFL
#11 pjamess (Homepage) on 2006-06-22 16:00 (Reply)
*Mark, really???! You are not freaked out at all???

Paul, awwww - it's a relief to know that I'm not recognisable under the makeup. And thanks for the self-defense tips! Everlast Underwear???? LOL!!!
#12 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-22 21:52 (Reply)
*Nah, not too much. Believe it or not I frequently see teenagers who are still searching for their identity who wear that type of makeup as an attempt to be individual, which is unintentionally funny because all of their group is dressing and making themselves up in very similar ways!

They tend to alarm some unprepared members of church youth group staffs, but when I see it all I can think is there goes a kid who could probably use somebody to talk to.

If it helps, I didn't know that was you until you said so! :-D
#13 Anonymous on 2006-06-22 23:46 (Reply)
*Mark, thanks for sharing your insights on this 'gothic look'. A dear friend who lived in the States before told me about youths dressing up like that to make a statement, etc yesterday.

Here in Malaysia, such a look would be deemed odd in ordinary circumstances. Kids here just spike and dye their hair blond :-P
#14 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-23 00:31 (Reply)
*And some just bald it prematurely.. and some bald naturally... muahahahahah
#15 pjamess (Homepage) on 2006-06-23 05:02 (Reply)
*ahem ahem

Thought I saw this bumper sticker some time ago - "Bald is beautiful. The rest of the world is staring at you because they are just jealous!"
#16 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-23 06:47 (Reply)
*Y'know... I wrote that bumper sticker...

Lol!
#17 Anonymous on 2006-06-23 14:52 (Reply)
*ur scary goth-like pic ler... >___<
#18 lisa on 2006-06-23 16:02 (Reply)
*Mark, you didn't!! shock horror

Lisa, nope - didn't enlarge the pic. Maybe it just appeared larger than life at night :-P
#19 Anonymous on 2006-06-23 21:45 (Reply)
*MUAHAHAHHHAHAH... i totally LMAO when you wrote this to me on yahoo messenger.. let's see if we can push it up to #1!!!!

Coolcat (6/26/2006 3:37:41 PM): thanks to u, my site now comes up as no. 8 when peeps do a search for everlast underwear!
#20 pjamess (Homepage) on 2006-06-27 08:57 (Reply)
*Woi! You are ebil. Truly ebil.

Blek..
#21 coolcat (Homepage) on 2006-06-27 12:56 (Reply)

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